I'm pissed. Very, pissed. Fortunately for y'all, I was distracted by the disappointment that was Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, so I did not blast out yesterday. Now I'm going to do that. And I'm not going to bother about the niceties. If no one else bothers with that on me, why should I bother either? I might piss off a couple of readers, I apologize for that, but this is damn well what I feel.

Sure, it has been a while since a class outing was organized, but in the end it was just a small event, just four of us guys and three other girls. We were walking down the path that led to the cross junction at Junction 8, when the topic of conversation became that of a friend's... orientation. No names. So the comment made was that they didn't know this guy's... preference. The comment went roguhly along the lines of, "Look's what he's done during PE, and look where's he's walking right now." I looked down and saw the the guy in question was working on grass beside the path, but looking up I realized what the comment meant. He was walking beside me.

Damnit, and I had told the guy that MADE the comment well enough of MY preferences. I even let out a secret to him and warned him not to make gay comments like that AGAIN. Now it has come up. What do I have to do to remind him? Stitch his mouth shut so he doesn't spout out such nonsense again?

But I kept silent during the whole journey, and just walked on ahead of the group. I'm not going to hang around to listen to such comments about me. I don't know how the guy in question felt about the situation (they continued teasing him about it even in the train journey) but I damn well know how I felt. Downright pissed.

Let me tell y'all why I don't appreciate the gay comments at all. I've been a couple of... relationships (for lack of a better word) with girls, and they didn't turn out well. In fact it left me thinking about what went wrong, and I figured I was brash, and stupid. But one thing is for certain, I like girls. Even now, I'm wondering about my current... situation, and calling me gay is just going to make me more frustrated and pissed. Up to the point that I've taken to isolating myself from the rest of the class. The sharp ones should've noticed this.

But what happens? I get called anti-social. Granted, that is true, but what happens when I get together? Comments like me being gay come along. I'm not going to be hanging around just to hear these remarks.

Granted, I can understand why these comments come about in the first place. I've been in all-boys schools for the past 10 years, and as I told my OG, that can seriously screw a guy up. The only girls that I talk too back then were my sisters and cousins. So I become shy around girls, I can't find much to talk about around them. I can find plenty to talk about with the guys, cos I'm a guy, and so what's wrong with that? I spend more time with them means I'm gay?

What do I have to freakin' do to prove my point? Go out with a girl? That's just low and wrong.

And I want to warn all of you out there. Just because I write this entry, doesn't mean I'm gay and trying to defend otherwise. I'll seriously clobber the point that I'm NOT gay into your heads, literally.

Now you know how I feel. I want to leave this point in your heads.

I'm straight.